Dear Daughter,
The world does not revolve around you. Take a look back at your day today, you probably got up late, rushed to get ready, stressed yourself out on the way to school because you were going to be late, got to school and immediately encountered the typical drama with your friends, had a teacher give you not the grade you expected, forgot your lunch, and then came home to complain of how much homework you have to do. Ok girlfriend, your day, this scenario, does not make you special. Guaranteed half the kids at your school had the same day, just with different friends, teachers, and homework. Understand that every other kid at your school thinks that his or her life is the only one that is occurring during that day. It is so easy to get carried away in your own drama and life events, that you forget that everyone else is also going through stuff.
Think about your parents, think about a time that your dad or I snapped at you or your little brother for really no obvious apparent reason. Well my child, sometimes we have stuff going on in our lives that you forget about, adult stuff. Stuff that we don’t necessarily want to share with you or make your burden. You need to have understanding that just as you are going through stress in your life, so is everyone else. Have understanding with your friend when she sends a snotty text or when your teacher comes down on the class. You have NO idea what is going on in their lives. Don’t assume that everything has something to do with you, because most of the time, when people are bitchy, have attitude, or snap, it’s because something else is going on in their life and you just happened to be in their path. I’m not making excuses for taking out your frustrations on others or that it is ok to snap at someone just because you are having a bad day. You just need to remember that everything is not always about you and at times, you need to show compassion towards others.
And because I am on the subject of compassion, I am going to take this opportunity to teach you quickly about sympathy and empathy; because I can’t really imagine writing a letter solely devoted to this topic. Although very similar, these things are very different. Sympathy is having compassion and the capacity to understand what someone is going through. Whereas, empathy is being able to identify with someone else’s feelings. Empathy is joining in their sorrow, sharing their pain, and grieving with them. They are both great attributes to be able to express but should be used appropriately based on the situation.
So the moral of this story, the gist of what I’m trying to tell you, is to realize that the world is revolving and we are all on the same ride. Have compassion for others and remember, not everything is about you.
With all my love,
Mom