Category: Life Blogs

You are what you Google

I feel like the message of today is to “follow your dreams”, “do what you love”, “turn your passion into your work.” What a crock! I had written an article called “Identity Theft” that was about how not to let your roles in life (being a mother, teacher, or spouse) define you, but rather how to balance your roles and duties with your interests and passions. This concept is pretty easy to understand although, I totally get it… I know many of you out there are thinking “How do I figure out what my passion is?” This is something that I have thought about a lot as I have gone through this same journey.

One day, during one of my random google searches of, “how to deal with people I don’t like”, or “neuroplasticity” , or “best béchamel recipe,” I realized I was the summation of what I googled. Passions grow from your interests, they spawn from your curiosity. You don’t just one day trip over a passion, hit your head, have an ah-ha moment, and the rest is history. No way! It all starts with curiosity. Find interest in something, whether it was intentional, by accident, or introduced to you. For example, I was interested in learning more about project management (which at that time was my full-time job), then I started to research Agile methodologies, then that morphed into leadership, and then somehow I bought a book about neuroplasticity. None of that probably made any sense, but the moral of the story is that you have to start somewhere. Listen to Ted Talks or audio books, or think about the last items in your google search history and chase those rabbit holes.

And for those of you who have already found your passion, that’s awesome. But I warn you, don’t let that passion define your existence. If you make that passion your identity, you are not leaving room for curiosity. You can have more than one passion, in fact you should have more. Your passions evolve and sometimes you even grow out of them. Let your passions be broad so there is room for evolution. If you love to hike, like I do, maybe you have a passion for the outdoors, or even exercise. If you are an artist, don’t limit yourself to a specific medium. Think of Michelangelo, who is most commonly referenced for painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Did you know that he was a famous sculpture before taking on this infamous endeavor? When Pope Julius II asked Michelangelo to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo hesitated, as he considered himself a sculptor and had no experience with the medium that was to be used, fresco (a method of painting water-based pigments on freshly applied plaster). Thank goodness Michelangelo didn’t confine his artistic ability just to sculpting, because if you have ever been to the Sistine Chapel, it is truly a wonder to see.

As fulfilling as passions can be, be careful about putting your passion to work for you. Keep your day job. Don’t demand a regular paycheck from your passion. If your passion pays off, that is great. But just remember, that allowing a paycheck to drive your passion can greatly compromise it. Let your passions be driven by your creativity, your curiosity, your enjoyment of them. I encourage you to search for, to embrace, and to expand your passions. Don’t let the message of today “turn your passion into work”, in the end make you resent your passion all together.

Live passionately and be curious!

Identity Theft

They call me mom, they call me wifey, they call me sis, that’s not my name, that’s not my name!! (If you weren’t born in the 80’s or 90’s than you may want to google the song by Avril Lavigne, That’s Not My Name; then maybe my first sentence will seem clever, or not, whatever). We live in an era where women are more than they were ever before. Many of us are not only wives, but we are moms, working professionals, volunteers, and one of the many other hats we choose to wear. We have to-do lists that are never-ending; kind of like the laundry and toys that are inevitably strewn across the floor. And by god, if I step on one more Lego, I am throwing them all in a fire pit and watching them burn! But lets get real, all of those Legos cost an arm and a leg, so that is just one of my signature empty threats; damn I need to get better at follow through. Anyhow, by the end of our days, we are truly exhausted; mentally and physically. Why are we doing this to ourselves? That’s right, I said it, we are doing it to ourselves!

 

We literally introduce ourselves as “so-and-so’s wife” or “Jonny’s mom”. What the hell?! I have a name, and not only a name, but a lot of awesomeness behind it! I had this epiphany after my first born when she was about two years old. Granted I was only 20, but I remember thinking that I knew I was a wife, Paris’ mom, and co-owner of a local business we had in California, although I truly could not grasp anything beyond that. I had no hobbies, no additional interests, or anything else I could grasp onto to express myself. It was like having a mini mid-life crisis. Instead of considering my married life, my child, and my business, components of what made up me, it was literally the only thing I was. And this was my fault. And don’t get me wrong, I love being a wife and a mother, but I was so much more, I just didn’t know it yet.

 

The best advice I ever received was from a marriage counselor that my husband and I had been going to for a while. And yes, you will hear me reference counselors and therapists quiet often, as we have no shame in admitting that! I remember my husband telling our therapist how supportive I was in his hobbies (aka dirtbikes) and how much time and effort I put into him and his passions. She looked at me and asked this simple question, “So Catherine, what are your hobbies, what do you like to do?” I was dumb struck! Ummmm…I thought, laundry, cooking, cleaning…oh hell, I have nothing!! I had been putting blame on my husband for taking so much of my time, although in reality, I really had nothing else better to do with it! Wow, this was one of those moments when I thought to myself, “Who are you?!”

 

And don’t take me wrong, by no means do I think I have my shit together, but if that same therapist were to ask me that question today, oh lord would she get an earful!! I love to hike, I love all and any DIY projects, I love to cook, oh… and I love wine! If I can pass on any advice, it is to embrace your roles as a wife, mother, sister, etc, although separate your roles from your interests and passions. Balance the scales between your duties and your pleasures.